Morbidity
by Pumpkin Zucchini
Summary: Robin finds a decapitated head and Nami freaks out.


Robin is _always _depicted as reading, which leads to people believing she is 'boring' or 'useless'.  
Screw those people.

* * *

Robin came into the room carrying a half-decayed head in her hands, reeking of rot and other nasty stuff.

Not so surprisingly, Nami began to flip out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!" Nami shrieked, leaping back and pressing herself against the wall as if to get away from Robin as far as possible.

"A human head. I found it in the woods outside of town." Robin serenely answered. Several arms opened her chest by the bed and pulled out a square of tarp, tossing it to the floor. Robin carefully set the head on it.

"THEN TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!" Nami scrambled to the other side of the room, staring at the head with disgust. Most of its purple, mottled flesh had fallen off and its eyes were missing, leaving dark sockets covered in dried blood. Stringy trails of who-knows-what spread on the tarp around the skull like roots and there were small clumps of greasy, filthy hair still clinging to the scalp in patches. Its wide grin was missing teeth, and the few it had left were riddled with cavities and covered in what appeared to be some sort of mold.

"The boys told me to come here and stay away from them." Robin said.

"Those idiots...!" Nami gritted her teeth, pinching her nose.

"The rest of the body was missing from the site." Robin said, prodding at the head with some sort of metal probe.

"LIKE I NEED TO KNOW THAT!!" Nami screamed.

"I think it's interesting." Robin shrugged. "Whoever this was has been dead for quite a while. Oh, look, there's still some brain matter left..."

Nami fled the room.

-X-

"R-Robin?" Chopper peered around the door. "Nami's really mad..."

"I noticed." Robin said lightly. She was still examining the head and had gathered a modestly sized pile of brain gunk beside it.

"Is that... a human head?" Chopper asked hesitantly.

"Yes."

"NGGG!!" Chopper whimpered. He dashed away.

-X-

"Get rid of it." Nami stood above Robin, pinching her nose. "It's disgusting! Take it outside!"

"But it's raining."

"Aaarggh." Nami flopped down on her bed and glared at the offending object. "Why did you even pick up that thing, anyways?"

"I'm an archaeologist, am I not?"

"I thought that was limited to _old _bones. You know, ones that _don't have rotting flesh on them_."

"I'd like to expand my field."

"What, so now you're into forensics?"

"If you put it that way, I suppose."

"Why can't you just read books like you normally do?"

"I finished all of them."

"Then go buy more!"

"I don't have any money left."

Nami jumped up and dug through her chest. She threw a fistful of beri at Robin. "There. Now go buy some books and OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Whoops."

"IS THAT- THAT A-"

"Hm."

"A HAND?!?"

"Someone- or something- must have stuffed it into his skull."

"THAT'S HELLA CREEPY!!"

"He must have suffered quite a painful death."

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION, ROBIN!"

Robin stood up and pulled her gloves off. "Would you like to go to town with me?"

"T-to buy some books, right?" Nami trembled. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the hand that had fallen out of the bottom of the head. Two of its fingers were missing, as was the thumb. A flap of bloody, ashen skin hung over the end of the stump and its remaining fingers had its nails missing.

"I'd like to see if the rest of this gentleman's body can be found."

"You're kidding."

"I'm afraid not."

"Well, I'm not coming."

"Okay."

-X-

"Nami, where's Robin?" Luffy asked, playing on the swing. The rain had finally cleared up.

"She went to go find dead people." Nami bluntly said.

"Oh." Luffy pondered over this. "Why?"

"Because she's crazy, that's why."

"I don't get it."

"Dead people, Luffy! You don't normally look for dead people!"

"Eh?? Really?!"

Nami groaned and facepalmed.

-X-

Robin looked up at the tall tree. She had found the head at the base of the trunk that morning, but the body was nowhere to be seen. The stench of rotting flesh still hung in the air.

She crossed her arms. Eyes began to pop up all over the tree as Robin searched among the branches. One eye caught sight of a bit of cloth fluttering in the wind.

-X-

After two hours, Nami decided to go out to search for Robin. She found her not to far in the woods, peering up at a tall tree.

"Ah, hello." Robin smiled.

"So, did you find any bodies?" Nami asked sarcastically.

"No, just a leg." Robin picked up what Nami had thought to be a branch and held it up. Indeed, it was a leg. Its foot was missing and bits of bone shard were poking through the skin, most of which had been shredded away.

"SERIOUSLY, ROBIN?!?" Nami screamed. "THAT'S JUST DISTURBING!!"

"And an arm, but it's stuck up there." Robin pointed above them and the two pirates looked up. There was an arm dangling from a branch, complete with a hand waving in the wind. Nami looked up further. At closer look, there appeared to be body parts hanging in the branches.

"I'm going to be sick..." Nami whispered hoarsely.

"His body was torn to bits and scattered among the treetop. It looks like he was killed by some sort of wild animal." Robin said. "That would explain the bite marks on the head."

"So it _wasn't _murder."

"No."

"Good."

"So are you okay now?"

"It's still creepy, you know."

-X-

When they returned to the ship (Nami had forbidden Robin from bringing the leg along with them) Nami immediately went to their room, bundled up the head with the tarp, and threw it overboard before Robin could stop her.

"That's disappointing." Robin frowned, watching the bundle sink into the water.

"Too bad."


End file.
